Given Enough
by ImplicationsProblematic
Summary: Post Reaper War, Kaidan is critically injured on a mission.


"Where is he?" Shepard demanded before the elevator doors had fully opened to admit her to Huerta Memorial. "YOU." She thrust a finger at the nearest staff member.

"C-Commander Shepard?" the unfortunate Salarian doctor stuttered, eyes wide and voice wobbling.

"Admiral." She snapped tersely. "Where is my husband?"

"I- Um- I-"

"Shepard,"

Her eyes snapped around and found a familiar figure hurrying towards her.

"Dr Michel." She strode to meet her, letting her urgency abate ever so slightly. Following the doctor out of reception, Shepard stared around the ward. "Kaidan- Where? How is he?" In the company of this old friend, she let the steel drop from her words and the panic rise. "Please, I-"

"Shepard," Chloe laid a hand on her arm gently. "He's going to be fine. I promise you."

Releasing the breath she had unknowingly been holding, she brought a hand to her mouth to stifle a sob of relief.

"Where-?"

"End of the hall on the right."

She didn't stop to thank the doctor, just sprinted ahead, slamming her palm into the door release and skidding to a halt at the foot of bed in which her husband lay. He was propped upright, with thick bandages around his abdomen and more on his right forearm. Bruises stained his chest and shoulders like a perverse tye-dye shirt. A graze, already healing, sullied his right cheek.

And he was smiling.

"Hey Shepard."

She stared at him and crossed the room in two strides to stand beside him.

"' _Hey Shepard'?_ Are you fucking kidding me Alenko?!"

Kaidan opened his mouth, but she wasn't finished.

"What happened?! They told me you were critical and I-" her voice cracked at last as she fought back tears equally prompted by fear and frustration.

"Hey," Kaidan hushed her, pulling her by the hand to sit beside him on the bed. "It's okay Shep. I'm okay."

"They said-" she choked, furious with her tears as he cradled her damp cheek.

"I _was_ critical." He said, with a small, infuriating smile. "I got better."

"Don't you _dare_ smile at me." She intended it as a growl, but her voice betrayed her and the words came out as a whimper. With a hand on her chin, Kaidan guided her eyes to his from where she glared at his bandages- ghosting a hand over them but not touching.

"I'm sorry Jane." He whispered.

She allowed herself a small smile, but she wasn't letting him off yet.

"What happened?" she grumbled, examining a cut across his clavicle she had initially failed to notice.

Kaidan sighed.

"It was stupid. One of my squad… his barrier failed… I ran forward- I was hasty- set off a land hit pretty hard. My barrier saved my life, but then the YMIR mech turned up and… yeah."

"I hope that lieutenant is bloody grateful." Shepard said, looking back up at him as she pushed stray strands of his usually perfect hair away from his face.

"Who do you think the flowers are from?" he said with a quiet chuckle, jerking his head towards the bedside table and failing to hide a small wince.

"Already?" she asked, staring at the enormous bouquet. "I came as soon as they told me. I should have been here sooner."

"Shep, it's literally impossible for you to have been here any faster."

She sighed and closed her eyes.

"C'mere," His hand at the back of her neck encouraged her face down to his for a soft kiss.

Shepard rested her forehead lightly against his. Several minutes passed like this as she reassured herself that he was truly there, alive and solid in her arms. At last, she sat back, holding his hands in hers.

"I was so scared." She exhaled, her voice falling back to a quivering whisper so far from her usual assurance. "I thought I was going to have to do this alone."

"Do what alone?" he murmured, massaging the back of her hands with his thumbs. Shepard stayed silent. "Shep?"

With a long sigh, she brought her eyes back to his.

" _Live_."

"Shepard-" his voice wavered for the first time as he gently pulled her closer. She shook her head and he understood this wordless cue as he always had.

"But also…" her eyes dropped to their hands as she let out another sigh. "This wasn't how I wanted to tell you, but- well you brought it on yourself-"

"Shep you're scaring me,"

She said nothing, but smiled and let go of one hand as she pulled the other one to rest on her stomach.

For a second, she watched his blank face anxiously, almost able to hear the gears turning in his head. But it soon became clear to her that he was simply taking a while to work it out.

"Are you saying-" His eyes seemed to double in size as he gaped at her with the same boyish grin she had fallen for when they first met. "Are you-?"

Shepard just nodded, her own grin stopping her from speaking. Kaidan jerked forward in the bed, yanking Shepard into his arms- his joy seemingly acting as an anaesthetic. Lightly wrapping her arms around his neck in an attempt to avoid the damage, she laughed breathlessly and pulled back after awhile to pull his face to hers for a deeper kiss.

"Well that settles it then," he smiled against her lips.

Shepard quirked an eyebrow in silent question. He smiled at her, tracing her jawline.

"I'm retiring from active service." He answered, sill smiling.

"What?" She pulled his hands from her face, sitting back further. "Kaidan, no! The Alliance is everything to you."

"No." He said simply. " _You_ are everything to me. The Alliance…" he sighed. "When I was a fucked up kid after Brain Camp, The Alliance was control and schedule to keep me sane- to give me purpose. When I met _you_ -" he smirked "It gained all sorts of other… ah, _benefits_ … and I was fighting the for the most important cause in the galaxy. Then when-" a sadness chilled his warm eyes a little. "-when I lost you," Shepard tightened her hold on his hands. "The Alliance was the only thing that kept me going, that kept me alive. And then the war, well that whole thing was sort of important don't you think?"

"A little," Shepard replied with a faint smile.

"But that sort of fight… there are some hurts that go too deep for you to ever completely come back from. You're just never truly going to be the way you were before… Do you remember what I told you when you decided not to try and go back to a combat role?"

"You told me," she said, looking deep into his eyes. "That I had given the Galaxy enough."

"Yeah," he smiled. "And call me arrogant, but I think I've given enough too. Not as much as you, but still… e-fucking-nough." Shepard nodded, smile growing stronger. "Besides, I'm getting old Shep. I'll quit while I'm ahead. Do you remember when they finished rebuilding Grissom on Earth and Kaylee offered me that job?"

"Yeah,"

"Well I think I'm gonna take it if the offer still stands- go back to teaching. Hell, I know how much biotic kids can need proper support."

"You'll be great." Shepard beamed. "Although you _will_ be working with Jack."

Kaidan chuckled.

"Even the prospect of psychotic co-workers cannot dissuade me. And then-" he tugged her back towards him. "Then, we settle into being hideously and gloriously civilian; buy a big house… I don't know, maybe you could take up embroidery." Shepard thumped his shoulder lightly. "Okay, maybe not that bit. But yeah, we'll get old and fat and boring- and maybe we'll suck at it. But it'll be you and me- and," moving a hand back to her stomach, his grin grew even wider. "-our _baby_. Fuck, that's weird."

"I know. We're definitely gonna mess this kid up."

"Nah, I'm going to read every parenting book in existence."

"Of course you are," Shepard stroked his hair affectionately. "Damn Boy Scout. Our baby is not an omnitool."

"It's not? Damn, I **do** have a lot to learn."

" _So_ … you're happy then?"

"I'm sorry, did I not make that clear?" Kaidan laughed, crashing their lips back together. "I'm ecstatic."

"I love you, _lieutenant_."

"I love you too _ma'am_."


End file.
